The Forgotten Diaper

All I could see was crack and sac staring brazenly at me from behind my pillow...there is only one person in our family who would dare to get bare on my pillow, one person with a "pre-garden" mentality about nudity...SEDRIC...aka, BUBBA.  There is nothing like getting your child out of the bath, having their fresh and clean pajamas folded neatly and resting on the counter waiting to be adorned on your child's freshly cleaned body.  I love being prepared.  I hate when I realize I am not prepared.  Somehow, I forgot the crucial piece of kid necessity...a diaper.  This wouldn't have been a problem if this scenario was about one of my girls when they were little...I could fetch them out of the tub, throw a towel around them and tell them to NOT MOVE while I grab a diaper in the hall closet, AND THEY WOULD OBEY.  Unfortunately, this is not a scenario about one of my "good with instruction" girls, it's about my "I heart nudity" son.  I knew I was in trouble as I tried to contain his squirming body with one hand as my free hand frantically swept along the counter top in search of the forgotten diaper...it wasn't there...CRAP.  Sedric noticed the lack of diaper too...CRAP.  The diapers were in the hall closet.  My diaper fetchers were no where to be seen...CRAP.  I took a deep breath and accepted my mission:  get the diaper before Sedric could escape and pee all over the house.  I counted to 3.  Sedric put his game face on.  I didn't play fair.  I threw the towel over his head to slow him down then I darted down the hall like lightening.  I felt hope as I approached the closet door only to have a sinking feeling as I realized my hands were too lotion-y to open the door!  Squealing erupted from the bathroom as Sedric freed himself from the towel and darted, naked and proud, into the hallway as I struggled to wrap my shirt around my hand like a glove to use as grip on the door nob.  I grabbed for the diaper in the plastic bag, struggling to find the blasted opening...I ripped a new opening spraying diapers across the hallway, but, a diaper was free at last!  Now where did he go?  I checked his usual hiding places...he wasn't under his sisters bed, or hiding under his covers, or in his closet...my heart beat a little faster as I realized there is only one other room upstairs he could be in...MY ROOM!!  I envisioned him running naked through my room peeing on all my stuff...that's when I found him...just crack and sac staring at me from behind my throw pillows.    Pearly white cheeks glowing in the twilight of the setting sun giving away his exact location.  If I hadn't been so worried about him peeing on my side of the bed, I would have run downstairs and grabbed the camera.  I picked him up victoriously and hauled him away to the bathroom to be properly diapered.  I laid him down, only to have him wriggle, jiggle, free and jump to his feet.  He looked me in the eye, gave me a half smirk and peed on the floor...CRAP.  Well played Sedric, well played. 


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