We recently did a 7 hour road trip with ALL 4 of our kids...we have 4 kids ages 6, 3, 2 and 3 months...WE ARE INSANE. We realized our insanity the moment we pulled out of the driveway with our entire house packed into our mini van, kids fighting about someone touching them, or someone took my toy, she's kicking my seat, baby screaming, everyone sweating, no way to stop the noise coming from rows two and three without losing your voice, realizing you forgot your ear plugs, etc, ect, ect...and thus was beginning to a VERY LONG road trip adventure for a 2 day family reunion hundreds of miles away. We discovered a few things about our children and ourselves on this road trip:
1) We don't like road trips.
2) After 1 hour in the car, kids start complaining it's taking too long, and state this fact every 5 mins for the remaining 6 hours
3) After 1.5 hours of being serenaded by a screaming infant, I can barely remember my own name.
4) Trying to stop your kids from arguing in the car is impossible while you are strapped in with a seat belt...no one is afraid of a caged bear.
5) Kids never have to go pee when you ask them, only when there is no rest stop for miles
6) When your 3 year old refuses to sleep in the car, no one sleeps in the car
7) The Backyardigans soundtrack breaks your brain when it is played on loop hour after hour
8) Farting in the car is never a good idea, no matter how discrete you are
9) There isn't much to talk about for 7 hours straight, even if you are soul mates
10) WE DON'T LIKE ROAD TRIPS
My favorite moment from our trip was Jack's worst moment from our trip...on our way home we stopped to eat lunch. All the kids were complaining and whining and desperately needing to get out and stretch their legs, so we stopped at a local "in the middle of nowhere" restaurant. The baby was needing to eat, so I stayed in the van while Jack took the older 3 kids into the restaurant. Two minutes after they left the van, they all came walking back to the van. Sedric was crying. Jack looked upset. Girls were rolling their eyes. I rolled down the window to ask what he was doing...but one look at him and my question was answered...he had vomit all over his shirt and a vomit smeared two year old crying next to him...screaming, "mommy, I pooked (puked) on daddy! My tummy hurts!" It was priceless watching Jack trying to get his shirt off while dry heaving in a crowded parking lot with people staring...he managed to do it without getting any vomit in his hair...I was a proud wife that day. After I was done feeding the baby and the "pooked" on clothes were thrown in the back of the van to be baked by the hot summer sun, we went in and ate. The kids were loud and quick to point out the spot outside the front door and inside the front door where Sedric deposited his breakfast, they did it with such pride, wanting everyone to see it...Jack and I walked by it shushing our kids pretending they were crazy. After lunch, spirits were high, tummies were full, parents refreshed...it all seemed but a bad dream this 7 hour road trip, but then, reality did it's thing...as we walked back to our van a wave of revelation hit us in the face as we opened the van doors and the smell from the baked "pooked" clothes greeted us. I will never forget the smell of our van that day...NEVER.
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