Have you ever had an experience with one of your children that caused the blood to drain from your face? The kind of experience that encourages you to strongly reconsider taking said kid out in public for fear of social ruin? Well, for all of you who have been there...or are there...this is the tale of the kid, the granny, and the horrified mother...enjoy!
I love Costco. Every trip to Costco is delightful for me. There is something about buying in bulk that puts a smile on my face. A few weeks back, I took my wild brood of 3 to Costco to restock on diapers, and toilet paper, and (of course) to buy a 5lb bag of M&Ms. As always, we turned down the book isle to peruse children's books...Peniel takes this particular part of the Costco experience very seriously. Its the only moment in any given shopping trip where she is honed in and focused. Peniel is the kid who hangs off the side of the cart and hollers at people in a British accent as we roll on by...but not in the book isle, never in the book isle. We were rapidly approaching the children's book section so Peniel jumped off the side of the cart and started walking down the isle brushing her hand along the stacks of books. She stopped short of her destination, for there was a road block in the form of a silver haired woman looking at the book on the first stack of children's books, I assumed Peniel would just go around...I assumed wrong. Peniel wedged her way in between the woman and the stack of books and put her hands on her hips, and started tapping one of her feet. The woman looked down and said hello to my darling sweet Peniel...Peniel looked up, and in a voice that sounded a few octaves lower than her usual whimsical sing song voice she said, "GET. OUT. OF. MY. WAY"
It all happened so fast, so very fast. It was like watching an avalanche. I was mortified, frozen in horror. I reached out and grabbed her and told her to apologize...as the bewildered older woman walked off, I wanted to yell out, "she didn't learn that from me!" As the woman turned the corner and was gone, I gave Peniel the most serious whisper scolding I could muster...which means very little to a child who knows the power they wield in public places...I shopped a little faster that day, took fewer samples, and forgot to buy half the things I needed to buy...all because my child owned the world that shopping trip, and me, the pheasant, could do very little...but the moment we got home, the world was right again, mommy was queen...and rudeness is high treason in Mommy's Kingdom.
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To the Victor Goes the Snacks!
I have two girls, both adorable, and both 100% opposites. Peniel is a huger, Rafe is a biter. Peniel likes to be the boss, Rafe refuses to take orders. Peniel is easily distracted, Rafe is not. Peniel will befriend anyone free of charge, Rafe cannot be bought. Peniel enjoys cartoons, Rafe enjoys stealing Peniel's snacks while pretending to watch cartoons...this list of differences goes on, but its the last example I want to expound upon.
Every day, after naps, the girls get a snack and a sippy cup. Their snacks are identical, each has the same amount of crackers and same ounces of water. One of my girls never questions the fairness of snack time...but the other...the middle child...the one who bites...eye balls both snacks to verify equal amounts. Even still, she must have both snacks and both sippies otherwise, its unfair! I am convinced that instead of sleeping during her nap time, she is strategizing with charts and graphs and running undercover-op drills in her room in preparation for: THE SNACK TIME HEIST.
Peniel loves her cartoons, she takes them very seriously, not one second is to be missed, even if an exploding bladder is a consequence. Rafe understands this about her older sister, and every day exploits this characteristic. Every day, I wonder how the snack time heist is going to go down because it changes...Rafe is smart and knows you cant trap a wolf the same way twice so she evolves her strategies daily. Her most frequented approach goes something like this: as soon as the cartoon theme music begins to play, she starts to dance and laugh, baiting her sister to join her...Peniel in unable to resist any moment that calls for dancing, so she joins in. Before the theme music stops Rafe is MIA. As the cartoon begins, Peniel sits down forgetting that she left her snack and sippy on the table...Unfortunately for her, Rafe did not forget about the abandoned snacks and proceeds very quickly and quietly to collect them and eats them as fast as she can chew, sometimes choking herself in the process as she shovels fistful after fistful into her pie hole...she always leaves at least one cracker and some floaties in an almost drained sippy...this is her calling card. If not for me, the mother, Peniel would never have a snack or anything to drink. I now have to fill two snack cups and two sippies half full in anticipation of my sneaky bandit Rafe...when she is satisfied that she has won her battle against her cartoon mesmerized prey, she walks off, belly full and plays with her toys. This is the time that I pull out Peniel's real snack and force her to eat and drink before Rafe gets wind of my under handing, counteracting, null and voiding her klepto ways. I love them both...that is why I let Rafe steal her sisters "decoy" snack, and why I keep a "real" snack for Peniel.
Every day, after naps, the girls get a snack and a sippy cup. Their snacks are identical, each has the same amount of crackers and same ounces of water. One of my girls never questions the fairness of snack time...but the other...the middle child...the one who bites...eye balls both snacks to verify equal amounts. Even still, she must have both snacks and both sippies otherwise, its unfair! I am convinced that instead of sleeping during her nap time, she is strategizing with charts and graphs and running undercover-op drills in her room in preparation for: THE SNACK TIME HEIST.
Peniel loves her cartoons, she takes them very seriously, not one second is to be missed, even if an exploding bladder is a consequence. Rafe understands this about her older sister, and every day exploits this characteristic. Every day, I wonder how the snack time heist is going to go down because it changes...Rafe is smart and knows you cant trap a wolf the same way twice so she evolves her strategies daily. Her most frequented approach goes something like this: as soon as the cartoon theme music begins to play, she starts to dance and laugh, baiting her sister to join her...Peniel in unable to resist any moment that calls for dancing, so she joins in. Before the theme music stops Rafe is MIA. As the cartoon begins, Peniel sits down forgetting that she left her snack and sippy on the table...Unfortunately for her, Rafe did not forget about the abandoned snacks and proceeds very quickly and quietly to collect them and eats them as fast as she can chew, sometimes choking herself in the process as she shovels fistful after fistful into her pie hole...she always leaves at least one cracker and some floaties in an almost drained sippy...this is her calling card. If not for me, the mother, Peniel would never have a snack or anything to drink. I now have to fill two snack cups and two sippies half full in anticipation of my sneaky bandit Rafe...when she is satisfied that she has won her battle against her cartoon mesmerized prey, she walks off, belly full and plays with her toys. This is the time that I pull out Peniel's real snack and force her to eat and drink before Rafe gets wind of my under handing, counteracting, null and voiding her klepto ways. I love them both...that is why I let Rafe steal her sisters "decoy" snack, and why I keep a "real" snack for Peniel.
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