5 most embarrassing interactions with new neighbors

This post is about 2 weeks late due to some DIY projects I've had going... BUT, I FINALLY FINISHED IT, SO ENJOY!!  And please vote for my blog by clicking the Top Mommy Blog link on my sidebar!  I truly appreciate it! 

We have lived in our new house about 2 weeks now...in one day, my kids have embarrassed me about 2 years worth in one 20 minute conversation with 2 of our new neighbors...here is what they said...in list format...least embarrassing to most embarrassing:

1)  While talking to the neighbor, Sedric decided to be funny and break out his "potty" humor.  He started laughing when the neighbor asked him what he was thinking about, he responded,  more quickly than I could remind him of his manners, "I want to poop on your fence."  SPEECHLESS.

2)  While talking to the neighbor who is holding her tiny infant baby girl, Rafe asks the neighbor in a very matter of fact kind of way, "I want to see her baby boobs."  SPEECHLESS.

3)  Peniel see's the neighbor out in her yard, she starts waving at her.  The neighbor waves back and smiles.  Peniel marches over to the fence and yells in all her first born glory, "Hey!  Your yard is a mess!  You should clean it!"  SPEECHLESS.

4)  While talking to the neighbor with the infant, Peniel declares, "Babies are so cute!  I'M definitely gonna have a baby when I am 17!"  SPEECHLESS. 

And lastly, the most embarrassing interaction in this 20 minute embarrassment gauntlet:

5)  While I was introducing myself and my kids to another neighbor we just met 5 minutes prior, Peniel chimes into the conversation with this little gem of a comment, "yeah, my mom doesn't like it when we disobey, she takes our toys away from us, and our dessert, AND tells us we have to sleep in the garage!"  SPEECHLESS.

 Just for the record, my kids have never slept in the garage or been threatened with sleeping in the garage...she pulled that out of left field, I think she enjoys shocking people with outlandish faulsehoods, anyways...the look on the neighbor's face seemed to say, "there goes the neighborhood." I am now afraid to meet any of the other neighbors for fear of complete social ruin...I have a feeling we might be becoming "that family" in the neighborhood that everyone talks about with raised eyebrows...thanks kids.  Thanks a lot.   I can just hear the whispers now...did you hear those kids in that white house the other day?  Are they raising wild animals in there?  Do thy ever stop fighting?  She needs to close her windows when they are screaming, the noise is bothering my designer dog."

Coincidentally, I have not seen nor spoken to either of our new neighbors since the 20 minute embarrassment gauntlet...I am telling myself it's all a coincidence and has nothing to do with the shocking behavior from my kids...I wonder if I will ever see them again?   
My kids do yell a lot.  They do fight a lot.  They run around a lot making all sorts of noise that makes you wish you were deft...some days you would never know that I do teach my kids good manners, but I do...scouts honor!  They have minds of their own however and sometimes say what ever pops into their minds more quickly than I can install their manners!  Kids.  Parenting.  Never dull.  Never predictable.  NEVER. 

The issue I have is that I am cruelly outnumbered 4 to 1 and they know it...they get away with more than I care to confess to, but it's true.  Some days I am just too tired to catch everything...some days I have a short fuse and talk a little louder and harsher than I should, some days, everyone naps and I feel like a new person...but lately, that is only a very few "some days"...some days it really bothers me that nothing goes the way I want and none of my laundry gets done or we have to eat cereal for dinner again because I didn't make it to the store... some days, I cry about it... but that's when I tell myself it's ok because I love them, they love me, a little extra cereal eating never hurt anyone, and I am doing my best.  Some days, eating cereal for dinner is my best.  Some days, not getting the laundry done is my best...Some days, making it through the day without strangling my children is my best.  I am constantly having to remind myself that I don't need to be concerned with someone else's definition of a successful day...some days, I have to remind myself a lot.  I am just thankful that even tho I have a lot of "some days" I still deeply love my kids every day.

It got away from me

I will start this post off with my husbands advice to me today before leaving for work...I was contemplating finishing painting Rafe and Sedric's rooms out loud.  Jack interrupted my A.D.D. multitasking "we just moved into a new house, so I need to decorate" train of thought with this little nugget, "If I were you, I wouldn't do ANYTHING that is gonna increase your stress or make it harder to manage the kids today..."  I filed it away under: NOT GONNA HAPPEN.   I had too much to get done, AND I needed to workout...I smiled, nodded, then shoved him out the door for work.  As soon as he pulled out of the driveway, operation, PERSONAL AGENDA was instated.  I put my workout clothes on naively thinking it meant I would actually workout.  I began barking out orders to the kids about picking up their toys, stop fighting, lower your voice, don't jump off the couch, STOP, STOP, STOP,  yadda, yadda, yadda, etc, etc, etc...you get the picture.  I told them to go play.  They would come into the kitchen to see what I was doing, GO PLAY.  They would ask me to play with them.  NO, GO PLAY.  They would need help with something.  GIVE ME A SEC, I would say.  I decided to tackle internet issues...I decided to tackle cell phone issues, we barely have reception in our new house.  I decided to catch up with friends through text, so my phone was lit up.  I was Pinteresting like mad!  I decided to decorate Peniel's room.  I was half way through a Pinterest project when my son rebelled.  I had shewed him away one too many times...he snapped... I had activated the secret code for meltdown...5...4...3...2...1...MISTAKE.  He threw a fit about everything.  I refused to stop my march toward DIY insanity.  At nap time, between maddening attempts at cutting shapes out of fabric with dull scissors, I chased Sedric up the stairs every 3 minutes whisper yelling at him to stay in his room.  He chased me back down in a fit of defiance.  2 hours of this...I told him no dessert for boys who don't obey.  He didn't care.  I told him no golf clubs for boys who don't obey.  He didn't care.  I told him no cartoons for boys who don't obey.  He didn't care.  I told him no dump trucks for boys who don't obey.  HE DIDN'T CARE.  I had nothing left to leverage, nothing left to take away from him...he had no intention of giving in, he was in it to win it and I still had too many projects going, I didn't want to quit either.  Somewhere in my head, my husband's advice was circling looking for a place to land, but I wasn't ready to clear the landing strip, I wanted my day, my way...I pressed on painting, cutting fabric, cleaning windows, and organizing non essentials.  I was stressed.  Upset.  Unhappy.  Mean.  Sweating, and way too stubborn for a mom of 4 kids.  My day, my way bit me and left a mark.  The day dragged on tediously.  I finally hit my limit while sitting on the floor changing the baby.  It was an hour til dinner.  I had nothing to make.  I had paint under my nails, something sticky stuck to my hair.  Sedric was complaining dinner was taking too long, Peniel was wanting to show me her story she wrote, Rafe was calling for me to help her get her princess dress on, and the baby just wanted me to look at her...I wanted to cry, but I didn't...I looked at the baby, she looked up at me giggling and garnished with spit up...I smiled at her, made a few silly faces, she laughed..that's when it hit me...I LOVE BEING A MOM...so what was I doing?!  Barking orders.  Agendas.  Ultimatums.  Anger.  This wasn't me.  I love playing with my kids, listening to their stories, helping them do dress up, letting them help with projects...I love being happy and nice...today got away from me.  It happens.  It's horrible when it happens, but it happens.  I have a mountain of excuses I can use to justify today, but I'm not going to.  There is no formula for parenting.  No manual.  No advice line.  No frequently asked questions page...some days, it all comes together, some days it all falls apart, and today, it fell apart.  I am glad today is just about over.  I'm glad I redeemed this FALL APART DAY as I hugged and kissed my kids before bed and told them I love them.  I'm glad they hugged me back.  I glad tomorrow is a fresh new day...no projects planned for tomorrow.  Tomorrow, my workout won't happen conventionally, my projects will go untouched or slightly less organized cuz little hands will be helping, my house will be messy, but my kids will be happy and that makes my heart full.

She's got the moves

It's late.  I am sitting at my kitchen table in our new house reflecting on our recent move.  My eye is twitching.  My feet hurt.  My kids aren't obeying...AT ALL.  Many things are going through my mind:  First off, I am thinking about where to hang my big vintage mirror, smiling as I imagine my husband sweating and struggling under the weight of it as I tell him, "no, a little more to the left...no, right, higher...now slightly lower..." I am thinking about painting my girls rooms...well, to be honest, thinking about my husband painting our girls rooms...I have a nursing infant who won't let me out of her sight for more than a minute...I can't risk the fumes causing her to grow an extra chromosome.  I am thinking about how close I am to a mental break, LITERALLY, I'm about one spilled sippy away from curling up in the corner, rocking back and forth and muttering to myself incoherently.  Packing and moving with 4 kids is ridiculous!  There should be warning labels about these things!  Something simple, like, "PARENTS OF SMALL CHILDREN IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF:  BEING ORGANIZED, BEING ON TIME, BEING EASY GOING, BEING FRIENDLY, BEING MENTALLY DISCIPLINED...PROCEED WITH CAUTION, THE FOLLOWING MY INCREASE YOUR RISK OF MENTAL IMPLOSION  DUE TO THE VOLITAL NATURE OF PACKING WITH CHILDREN...IF YOU FIND YOURSELF BECOMING OVERBEARING, OVER-REACTING, FLINCHING AT SUDDEN MOVEMENT, FORGETTING YOUR OWN NAME, CONFUSING YOUR RIGHT HAND FROM YOUR LEFT HAND, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION...
I sincerely hope to NEVER move again...hell or high water, we are staying put.  My brain can't take the stress of mediating arguments, monitoring excessive cartoon watching and snack eating, and track "who started it" while taping boxes, stacking boxes, organizing boxes, labeling boxes...this move broke my brain, I am a different person today...not a better person, just a different one.  I can barely communicate in full sentences.  My thoughts are erratic.  I have forgotten how to spell (If you only knew how many times I have used spell check while writing this post...pitiful).  I keep getting lost in thought...LITERALLY, can't find my way out of each thought, each rabbit hole gets darker and darker...if it weren't for my kids constant fighting today, I'm not sure I would not have had contact with reality...I could be on one of those drug commercials from the 90's...THIS IS YOUR BRAIN (picture of me with makeup, smiling, eyes twinkling looking cute), THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON PACKING PEANUTS (picture of me holding a tape gun that doesn't work, sweating, crying, covered in spit up with a screaming baby strapped to my torso, surrounded by boxes, while a naked 2 year old gives me a dead leg).  The best way to manage moving with kids en toe is to ship them off to grandma's house so they aren't en toe.  Before you break out the tape gun and the new boxes, and the packing peanuts, put their shoes on, walk them out to the car, strap them in their car seats, and drive as fast as is legally possible until you reach grandma's house.  Grandma's house is a magical place where kids can be fed, bathed, clothed, and cuddled for free!  I wish I would have discovered this magical place sooner...I think deep down I always knew it was there, but refused to explore the wonder of it because I am slightly controlling and over-bearing...so to the grandma's in my life, "yeah, yeah, you were right."  There I said it...tell the truth, shame the devil.
The move was hell, as is the nature of moves, but totally worth it.  My kids now have a yard that isn't an ally street, I have a laundry room that isn't in the garage, my husband has an office that isn't our kitchen table...We are blessed.  We are thankful.  We are home.