Please, No Mo Fleas!

There is nothing like sitting on the couch, drinking a soda, watching LOVE IT OR LIST IT while your kids sleep in their beds and your dog sleeps at your feet.  There is also nothing like reaching down to pat your dog while sitting on the couch, drinking a soda, while watching LOVE IT OR LIST IT only to realize she is infested with fleas!  I am not using the word "INFESTED" lightly...I am being very literal.  Here is how the last few days has played out for me...

I am enjoying a little down time while my 4 kids are all napping...BLISS.  I got my soda, my M&M's, my feet are up, LOVE IT OR LIST IT is all I can see, and my sweet dog, Gidget is restlessly sleeping at my feet.  I was starting to get frustrated with her.  She was making a lot of noise and kept getting up and slamming back down to the floor making the couch shake...I nearly spilled my soda mid drink multiple times...I don't like the thought of cleaning up a spill when I am off duty, so I yell at the dog.  She looks at me, panting.  I tell her to be quiet because I can't hear what the designers are saying.  She plops back down, shaking the couch again.  I almost spill again.  I look at her.  She looks back at me panting.  I purse my lips and wrinkle my brow as I stare at her...something was off.  She looked miserable.  Is she sick?  Did she eat something in the yard?  Is it old age?  I sigh, and then smile at her...I tell her she is a good girl.  She looks at me, panting.  I reach down to scratch her tummy as she is laying on the floor...that's when I saw the problem.  A LEGION OF FLEAS.  EVERYWHERE.  Feasting on my poor old dog who has a very pronounced under bite making it impossible for her to bite them away.  Never in my life as a dog owner have I ever had to deal with fleas! This was a first, so as "firsts" go, I over-reacted.  I swore.  I almost spilled my drink as I did a Ninja roll off the couch to get a better look.  I combed my hands through her hair against the grain to see what was lurking in her undercoat.  I counted 10 fleas right off.  I swore.  I squinted.  I made a "I'm disgusted" face.  I swore again.  My mind went to the extreme, all I could think of was shaving the dog...I got up and ran into the garage frantically looking for the buzzers (the ones I use to cut my husbands hair...shhhh, don't tell him).  I found them quickly and raced back to my panting dog, threw her over on to her back and began shaving her stomach...she loved it.  She laid there, spread eagle as I shaved off mounds of flea infested hair.   She started breathing easier with each pass of the buzzers...I did a very proficient buzz job...OK,  I'm lying, it was a hack job.  My hands were shaking, I was sweating, I didn't know what I was doing, so I just kept shaving randomly...I couldn't quite get it even, she looked lopsided, so I just kept shaving...POOR GIG.  About halfway through the frantic shave job, my kids were all up from their naps.  The baby woke up first.  Flea hair was stuck to my skin as I raced up the stairs, taking two at a time to bring the baby down to watch the freak show.  I put her in her bouncy seat.  She was giggling and laughing and kicking her legs wildly as she watched me roll the dog around on the floor like a joint trying to find the next place to shave.  Sedric and Rafe were up next and instantly began a play by play commentary every time Gidget would scratch at a flea.  They started using their "bad words" to scold the fleas.  Calling them poopy heads, stupid heads, stinky bottoms...they did it with such sincere concern for the dog I decided to pretend I didn't hear their toddler cursing.  Finally, Peniel was up.  She came down sleepy eyed dragging her feet...she plopped down next to me sending flea hair up into my face, I yell at her to be more careful...that's when she finally woke up and saw what was going on.  She assessed the mess she sat down in and made the same "I'm disgusted" face I had made 20 minutes earlier.  I told her what was going on...she did a high pitch sympathy, "OH GIG!!"  and patted her head...and almost in the same breath asked me, "so if she dies from this, can we get a cat?"  SPEECHLESS...Not shocked (Peniel desperately wants a cat), just speechless.  Poor Gig indeed!  Long story short, I buzzed off about 50 fleas and a lot of hair that didn't need to be cut...and she was still getting bit...after a round of Advantix, a professional exterminator over to the house to flea bomb, we are now penniless...and flea free...I HOPE.

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